Adults Zone
Half of UK men would swap sex for 50 inch TV
LONDON (Reuters Life!) - Nearly half of British men surveyed would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, a survey — perhaps unsurprisingly carried out for a firm selling televisions — said on Friday.
Electrical retailer Comet surveyed 2,000 Britons, asking them what they would give up for a large television, one of the latest consumer “must-haves.”
Bisexuality in women is not a stage: study
NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Bisexuality in women is not an experimental or transitional phase on the way to lesbianism but a distinct sexual orientation, according to a new study.Researchers who studied 79 non-heterosexual women over the course of a decade found bisexual women remained attracted to both men and women throughout that time.
Talking homosexuality with kids never easy
The questions are coming. You know they are. It’s just a matter of time. Meanwhile, how you as a parent will respond is worth considering.
At least, this is the opinion of one Calgary parenting consultant and I’m inclined to agree with her.
A Perfectly Reasonable Explanation
This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it.
“Oh my God!” she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees the local sheriff’s car parked in front of the town bar.
“It figures,” she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who’s sitting at the bar with his drink.
“What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal…. and then …I come in here …and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!”
“Well, ma’am,” the sheriff slowly replies, “you don’t expect him to catch a coyote at his age, do ya?”
The Ladder To Success
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He’d walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke: “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
“Take me now or climb the ladder to success,” she huskily whispered. Harry couldn’t believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6′8″ hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, “Who are you?”
The biker answers, “I’m Cess.”
Doing The Dishes
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it’s missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him.
“No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don’t say a word.” She tells him, “Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven’t done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them.”
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier.
But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline.
Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend’s father backs away from the table and screams, “OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I’LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES”
Desparate Measures
A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn’t stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by.
So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again.
“So, how much have you earned today?” the husband asked.
“Well”, the woman responded, “I’ve made one hundred dollars and fifty cents.”
“That’s strange”, the husband responded, “who gave you the fifty cents?”
Said the woman: “All of them, of course!”
Another Failed Attempt
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
“No thanks,” the girl says. “You know I don’t smoke.”
soft and hard …
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.”
Sex Research: Better Stories than Jokes
It’s fun to report on sex research.
You write funny budget lines. Your newsroom colleagues eavesdrop when they overhear your phone interviews. And your story gets extra attention in the news meeting.
Most journalists don’t cover sex research on a regular basis. Few do it well. With newsroom humor being what it is, it’s easy to see how stories about sex research could become a vortex of bad puns and silly jokes.
Dirty Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what, metal,
wood, plastic-anything she touched would melt!Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
WHATS THAT?
there was a little kid and she wanted to take a shower with her mom and her mom said es when they were in the shower the little girl looked up and said \”mommy whats that?\”
and her mom said \” thats my garden\” the next day the little girl wanted to take a shower with her dad and he said ok when they were in the shower the littlegirl looked up and
First Time Experience
Virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come
over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Viagra Doesnt Work for Women
The hot-selling impotence drug Viagra may do wonders for men, but a new study shows it’s not so effective in women. Researchers led by urologist Steven A. Kaplan of Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center in New York studied 33 post-menopausal women who reported suffering sexual dysfunction for at least six months. Their complaints included low sex drive, arousal problems, diminished lubrication and lack of or difficulty in achieving orgasm.
After 12 weeks of taking Viagra, about a quarter of the women reported some improvement in sexual function, but Kaplan says it’s unclear whether their improvement was caused by the placebo effect, in which the act of taking a
pill brings improvement in symptoms.
Researchers reported that Viagra was successful in increasing blood flow to the clitoris and increasing lubrication, but that did not appear to lead to sexual
satisfaction. Seven women complained the drug made the clitoris overly sensitive, causing discomfort during intercourse.
The drug is already prescribed for some women. According to Viagra manufacturer Pfizer, about 8 million prescriptions have been issued. Viagra was approved last March and became the fastest-selling drug on the market. Sales worldwide totaled $788 million by the end of 1998.
Researchers point out this study is small and needs to be replicated with larger groups of women. The study appears in the March issue of Urology.