May 2008
How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day an employee sends a letter to her boss
asking for an increase in her salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you
$hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have
its really a joke
Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was
asked to all 4 of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?
YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light!!!
HARVARD Guy: It’s the Thought; b’cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.
Imagination
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office.
“What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you’ve ever had.”
21st Century…. We are becoming lesser by the day
Our communication - Wireless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Sex Research: Better Stories than Jokes
It’s fun to report on sex research.
You write funny budget lines. Your newsroom colleagues eavesdrop when they overhear your phone interviews. And your story gets extra attention in the news meeting.
Most journalists don’t cover sex research on a regular basis. Few do it well. With newsroom humor being what it is, it’s easy to see how stories about sex research could become a vortex of bad puns and silly jokes.
Laura Bush Jokes
“Laura Bush is spending the weekend with Bill Clinton. She is the keynote speaker at the three-day Clinton Global Initiative. President Bush says he’s OK with this, but we’ll see how he feels when she comes back with her skirt on backwards and without that frozen smile.” –Bill Maher
Hillary Clinton Jokes
“Hillary criticized Obama so strongly that at one point he yelled at her. He just said, ‘Hey, easy, lady, we’re not married’” –David Letterman
“Political experts are now saying it’s almost impossible for Hillary Clinton to win, and everyone is urging her to call it quits and go home to Bill. Except, of course, Bill. ‘Stay out there, honey!’” –Jay Leno
Wisconsin: Police: Sex offender asks to baby-sit
WAUPUN, Wis. (AP) — Police arrested a sex offender who allegedly was offering cheap baby-sitting services.
Police say they were notified Feb. 19 by a Waupun woman that David J. Edwards had made numerous contacts with her. He allegedly told the woman that he loved children and that he “baby-sat real cheap.”
Police arrested Edwards, 57, on Thursday.
David Edwards, Paralyzed Football Player Who Inspired ‘Friday Night Lights’ Pilot, Dies
David Edwards, a Texas high school football player who was paralyzed during a 2003 game and would later become a motivational speaker and an inspiration for the first episode of Friday Night Lights, died Wednesday, three days before his 21st birthday.
The Austin American-Statesman reports that Edwards died at a San Antonio hospital from complications of pneumonia. He had stopped breathing Monday night and slipped into a coma on Tuesday.
McCain says citizenship issue put to rest long ago
RICHARDSON, Texas (AP) - Republican presidential hopeful John McCain said Thursday the question of whether he can run for president, despite being born in the Panama Canal Zone, was put to rest 44 years ago in Barry Goldwater’s run for the White House.
McCain added that he doesn’t know why his campaign sought legal analysis of whether his birth outside the continental United States might disqualify him from the presidency.
Is McCain a “natural-born citizen?”
An article in today’s New York Times raises a fascinating question: Does the constitution preclude John McCain from being president? The Arizona senator was born, not in the United States, but in the Panama Canal Zone.
McCaskill boosts ‘Citizen McCain’
WASHINGTON - Sen. Claire McCaskill might be pitching for Team Obama in the presidential campaign, but she went to bat Thursday for its potential rival.
The Missouri Democrat went to the Senate floor to try and remove any cloud of constitutional doubt that Sen. John McCain of Arizona, the likely Republican nominee, was eligible to serve as president of United States.
Jonathan McCullman says Coptic Christian Family Starved Him
A 17-year-old exchange student from Maine says his host family in Egypt starved him because they were Coptic Christians. Jonathan McCullman says he was denied sufficient food as the family fasted for religious reasons more than 200 days a year. McCullman weighed 155 pounds when he arrived in Egypt and only 97 pounds when he returned home. “The weight loss concerned me, but I wanted to stick out the whole year,” he said. McCullum said the family served meat when he first began staying with them but limited stopped during the fast period. He said he considered changing host families but decided against it as the family he could move to was located in a bad neighborhood in Alexandria. Upon his return from the 4-month stay, McCullum was hospitalized for two weeks. Doctors said he was at risk for a heart attack. The teen’s parents say the AFS Intercultural Program should have warned parents if their child was placed with Coptic Christians. The host father dismisses McCullman’s claims as a “lie” and insists special dishes were prepared for the boy. “The truth is, the boy we hosted for nearly six months was eating for an hour and a half at every meal. The amount of food he ate each meal was equal to six people,” said Shaker Hanna. To view more news related to People please go to:
Ford recall & crib recall
February 28, 2008 (WPVI) — Thousands of cribs are being taken off store shelves; plus, the government is urging millions of Ford owners to take action immediately.
The government issued a series of recalls because some Ford vehicles have faulty cruise control switches and could catch fire. The last recall was back in August but since then NHTSA has received about 60 complaints of engine fires. The agency also said so far, switches on only about half the 9-point-6-million recalled vehicles have been disconnected.
Shopkeeper who killed robber in self-defence will not be charged
A shopkeeper who fought back and killed a knifeman who tried to rob him of the day’s takings has been told that he will not face a murder charge.
Tony Singh, 34, was attacked by Liam Kilroe, 25, a wanted criminal, outside his Lifestyle Express store in Skelmersdale, Lancashire.
Hayley lends her support to anti-gun and knife crime film
LOCAL girl Hayley Wilkinson from Aston Abbotts appears in an anti-gun and knife crime feature film funded by the Home Office.
The Don’t Trigger film, Hip Hop Opera, will have its TV premiere tonight (Wednesday) at 8pm on Sky 360 (Channel U).
Romance Your Man - Sizzling Hot Expressions of Love to Keep Your Man Thinking of You All the Time
First comes interest ~ then attraction ~ followed by a little romance ~ graced by compatibility ~ and blessed by love. What a gold mine! This is the dream of many people. To become romantically involved and fall in love is truly a gift. You must protect and nurture you love every step of the way. Over time, things can loose the sizzle and excitement and become stale. You want to do everything you can to prevent this from happening to your romance. Even if things have begun to trickle off, here are some things you should be saying to your love partner to keep you in the front of his or her mind.
A Kiss is NEVER “Just” a Kiss - The Fundamental Things Do Indeed Apply
I’ve been thinking…. IS the phrase…
“A kiss is just a kiss….”?
EVER really that simple??
More untrue words have never been uttered.
How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - This Is What Every Girl Desperately Wants You To Know
Do you know that girls fall in and out of love in an instant? This normally takes place when they didn’t get what they expected at first. You see they might have felt very strong initial attraction towards a certain guy but with time they realized they made a mistake. You see nothing can be more depressing them getting rejected or getting dumped therefore you must be aware of these mistakes before they happen to you. Read on to discover what these mistakes are and how you can avoid them and make a girl fall in love with you…
3 Sure-Fire Methods To Touch A Women’s Heart So Dearly She Will Be Gazing At You With An Open Mouth
How would you like to become the man women simply can’t think about leaving? How would you like to become the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with? You see there are very few men out there who truly know what women want and end up being the biggest girl magnets. But do you know that there are small tricks and secrets you can use right now which you help you achieve the same results as them? Read on to discover what these secrets are and how you can use them to achieve out standing results as well…